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2018-06-16 - 3:00 p.m.

The people at Facebook have shown me the error of my ways, and I have since converted to Islam.
Honestly, I don't know what took me so long. All I know is that as of this moment I finally know the feeling of being "Woke" that all of you have been talking so much about as of late.
Let me begin by telling you that Islam is the religion of peace.
And as soon a I behead my first infidel I will make sure to tell them that.
That's not why I converted though.
I think it was the pedophilia that spoke to me the most. Look, we all love diddling kids. I mean, women are so unclean so what other choice to we have?
Sure I could just as easily stick it in a goat and he then absorbs the sins, but I'm allergic to animals.
I believe I must have been cursed by a foul Jew at some point.
Regardless, my child bride and I couldn't be happier.
And why wouldn't we be? She knows that she was lucky enough to be chosen first and can't wait to bare me masculine children. Besides, even if she can't, I'm sure many of the other wives I pick up along the way will be able to.
Or I'll just kill them, LOL!
Don't forget about the slaves though. I'm sure one of these creatures will come through and give me a son.
Man, Islam is great!
The sooner the rest of you American dogs realize that, the better off you'll all be.
And by better off I mean alive.
Anyway, I'm off to blow up the Dunkin Donuts for selling sausages, wish me luck.
I wonder if I can rent a van today?
As-Salaam-Alaikum, motherfuckers!

 

 

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