2019-09-10 - 4:15 p.m.
I have no intention of sounding like some boastful braggart, but it has been six weeks since I've last had a cigarette. I quit without the use of pills, patches, or gum, but more importantly than all of that, I wasn't remotely influenced by the massive anti-smoking advertising campaign.
Not the commercial of the doughy Pocono Patty talking to her premature inbred baby in an incubator nor the one of the hillbilly blowing a song through his cancer kazoo. I wasn't moved by the withered up Frankenstein monster who for some reason believed she was hot when she was younger, and the chick peeling off her face to pay for a pack didn't do anything for me either. The main reason being, that I'm not fucking retarded.
If you for one second think smokers can't comprehend that it's bad for them then you are a moron. They've been hammering this message into them for forty years at least, and it never stops.
When I was in the second grade a man came to our school to speak of the dangers of smoking and handed out anti-smoking coloring books. It was filled with cartoon cigarettes and people choking and dying. The illustrations were great and I colored every page. By the middle of November I fully understood all of the pitfalls of lighting up, and I was six. So trust me, I'm fully aware.
Smokers are treated like second class citizens in this country and vilified as scumbags while junkies and drunks are treated like fragile diseased victims that need to be coddled. They also pay the highest percentage of Sin Tax which covers alcohol, pornography, and gambling. For some reason the tobacco tax goes up every damn year yet the one on porn and booze has stayed the same since the 50's. So the reality is that smokers actually pay more in taxes then the rest of you, yet they're are the lowlifes. For some reason they're also the targets of a multimedia witch hunt.
Smokers know they can get cancer so why don't you just give it a rest already. Maybe make a commercial about how being a fat fucker eating processed garbage can kill you? Instead of celebrating morbid obesity and telling these people that they're brave, you should try plastering photos of clogged arteries and heart disease during the McDonald's commercials.
How about you stop running all of the ads that glorify drinking and showing sexy people having fun? Why can't they include people beating their spouses and children, or maybe some bloody as fuck fatal car wrecks? Splash in a little hospital footage of Cirrhosis, Strokes, the DTs and Wet Brain? If you're so concerned about people not hurting themselves try running those possibly.
Whatever you do though, for the love of Christ stop advertising Vaping and E-cigarettes on fucking television. For the life of me I can't understand how it's illegal to sell cigarettes on TV yet another product carrying nicotine that causes the same exact shit is fine? I also don't get how flavored cigarettes were banned for encouraging children to smoke but raspberry cotton candy jerk off juice isn't.
Why are they acting like these synthetic fog machines are better for you? Smoke Marlboros and you may die in fifty years, smoke a JUUL and be dead by the end of the fucking week. Way to cut out the middle man I guess.
All I'm saying is that if all of you bleeding heart motherfuckers are so concerned with the health of the masses you might want to focus your efforts on all of the other killers too. Because these anti-smoking commercials are just giving me a craving based on spite. I'm not going to cave though, I quit and I stand by it. My point is that I still advocate smokers rights and if you want to kill yourself that's no one's business but your own and you deserve that luxury.
The thing that forced me to quit was purely economical. For example factoring that I smoked one pack a day, I have already saved $321.30 in just six weeks. It really adds up. Just imagine how much money I essentially set on fire in an 18 year period. That's what made me quit, I'm cheap.
The rest of you folks though, enjoy your smoke. Hopefully one day I'll be a millionaire and join you again.
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