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2018-06-09 - 4:23 p.m.

The first time I saw Blacula I cried like a baby when he died. Not just because I liked vampires, but because I liked Black Draculas. They were the coolest kind of vampires around. Count Chocula and Vincent were like family to me.
Vincent was the vampire on the Electric Company portrayed by Morgan Freeman.
So Blacula obviously was one of the boys, and we all had to watch each others backs.
Then they tell me Morgan Freeman is a sexual predator.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Didn't we just go through this with Bill Cosby?
He was a childhood hero for me too. From Fat Albert to Picture Pages to the Cosby Show, Bill was always a part of my life. The first comedy special I ever saw was Bill Cosby Himself. I really liked the guy.
NOPE!
He raped about ten hundred women.
What a fucking dick!
I loved Louis C.K., liked Kevin Spacey movies, and listened to Phil Spector and Michael Jackson records.
Do you know where they are now boys and girls?
Public masturbator, pedophile, murder, and another god damn pedophile.
Speaking of child molesters, did you here that Charlie Sheen was cornholing an underage Corey Haim on the set of Lucas?
Who is it safe to like anymore?
I'm waiting to hear that Little Richard is a necrophiliac and that Stan Lee is in the Ku Klux Klan.
Anytime I think a celebrity or entertainer is cool, they then go do some horrific crime and then I feel like a dipshit for being into their stuff.
Pee Wee Herman gets caught beating his meat in a porno theater, Mystical beat up and groped his hairstylist, and Gary Glitter fucked so many children that he got kicked out of Thailand: The Kid Fucking Capitol of the World.
That's it. I'm not liking anyone ever again.
"But Ritchie, you still need to go see Deadpool 2."
Why, so I can find out a week later that Ryan Reynolds drowns kittens in a sack down by the creek?
Pass.
Everyone is an asshole.

 

 

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